The Nelson Pulpit

Today we are blessed with a rare event, one so rare, that it's never
happened before. Indeed, we are lucky that such a humorous person has
deemed it worthy to write a response, of such quality and greatness,
that I had no choice but to distribute it among the readership.

So, without further introduction, I present a warning of the Fox
Family Channel, by none other than, The Brother of the BOFH, Matthew
Nelson

-----

There is a chapter in relavations that speaks of the turning of a
thousand years. It speaks of the horrible trials that await man when
this magical year turns and the world is not changed its ways. The
people of medieval Europe viewed this as the end of the world. They
practiced penance in many different ways and feared the turning of the
year, knowing in their hearts that they had not changed. Somehow they
got away with it and the world survived. Since then scholars have
poured over the tomes of the bible and found a here to unrecognized
passage that speaks about the harbinger of this terrible epoch in
man's existence -

"And so among the masses will come a shrill herald, a proclaimer of
solid family entertainment. Beware this agent of the darkness, for she
offers the end. Those who are in her presence will feel the heat of
judgment and their souls will dissipate like water thrown on hot
stones. Her offers will be empty promises that usurp the sanity of
men. Those who value life will avoid this empty trumpeter, but they
will be in the minority. This eighth plague, the bringer of the fox,
will signal the end of all things good. "

My dear brothers, you are all witness to the beginning of the end.

What ever you can do to stop this evil, must be done. This is our
fate. Acknowledge it and accept it.

-----
Oddly enough, My brother and I mis-spell "amoung" the same way.

Shaun Nelson -- BOFH

This has been a service of the Bastard Broadcaster Company.

Today is a special day and important for many reasons.

First, I have a date. Second, (and perhaps more importantly,) John
Glenn is current in orbit. The last time that Glenn was in space was
1962. This seems to be an eiry conincedence.

Even in the fact that mission control often has a fatalistic view on
what they do, much like myself. But I've learned to stop carrying
around pictures of my past mistakes. That takes a bit of explanation.

Chris Kraft, NASA’s director of manned flight operations during the
Mercury program, kept a picture of an Atlas rocket under the glass top
of his desk. It wasn’t one of those glossy PR photos of a successful
launch. It showed an Atlas exploding, consumed by a fireball.

The Mercury program you will remember, was the series of flights that
made John Glenn famous. As the first American to orbit the earth.

I'm sure, or least I'd like to think, that Daniel Goldin has a picture
from that cold January morning in 1986. It seems only fitting to
remind Mr. Glenn, and the world, that space is still dangerous place.
Correction, space is fairly safe, getting there however, tends to be a
problem.

In fact, the history of this event, (John Glenn, not my date tonight)
can be traced back to Sept. 29th 1988, when the same shuttle that now
carries the distigusted gentelman from Ohio, was the first shuttle
back into space after the Challenger accident. And just as the
Discovery, then, signaled the return of America to space, she now
signals the return of John Glenn to space.

But why is Glenn returning to space...?

Perhaps he is bitter that he was grounded by John Kennedy? Or more
likely he is being chased by the limits of his own mortality? The fact
is, he isn't getting younger and of the seven men that risked their
lives to further the space race in the early, known as the "Mercury
Seven" only four are still alive.

Perhaps this flight will boost interest in the space program, perhaps
not, will our cynical young population be motivated by Glenn's return,
or just driven away by the ordeal? Is NASA reduced to publicity
stunts? Or worse, people begin to think, since we're lifting
70-year-olds into space, that space flights have now become routine?