Screaming Bastard
I don't like dogs or American cars.
I like funky ceramic coffee mugs. I hated my job; I don't regret being fired. I'm not a big fan of continuity. I haven't been getting much sleep lately. I'm too lazy to do my own laundry. GODDAMN IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT! I have a mean streak.
I've learned that abuse serves a useful purpose. I need to change my sheets. The marshmallows are bugging me again. That's stoopid, not stupid, stupid. There's no such thing as a free lunch. I watched the movie 'Fargo' last night. I laughed, often inappropriately. Half a dog! The color gray suits me well. I can't cook, I live off sandwiches.
Adverbs are a commonly misused part of speech. I drink too much coffee. Ideally, tables should contain at least one flat surface. I never really did like Mark. I am guilty, albeit unintentionally, of contributing to the financial gains of evil multinational corporations. Pig Latin is
lame. A sick woodchuck upchucks wood. Paintings in coffeehouses are often drab. My finger hurts. Her caboose rides on a laugh track. I miss recess. Paul is dead. The ferret eats alone. Disregard the broken rules. It's like bad sex all over again (she's dead, all wrapped in plastic). Idon't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners. Half a Rob! I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids. That's not what I meant. Chunder was a-coming. Optical illusions are
never what they appear to be. I quit seeing this girl called turkey. Never mind the Alamo. I've never had a bad power trip. I didn't get the little dog either. She's not dyslexic. People shouldn't kill each other. Don't put another dime in the jukebox (it doesn't really box). For that matter, picket fences don't fence or picket. You can't just let her get away with this. Laugh all you want; we'll make more. Hell is a place where McDonald's serves real food. Orange is flashy. Target sucks. I know what's under my chair. Please sir, I'd like some morphine. You
never have an answer. I am the surry with the fringe on top. You are the furry with the syringe on top. Be a winner in the game of Life. Fox needs to be stopped. Follow my nose; it always knows. On second though, nothing tops a good beating. I brought the razorblades. And I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down. Michelangelo was gay. No, you don't look fat. Get away from me. There is no point in mentioning those bats. Free beer will solve your problems. Speaking of which, I
need a bigger freezer. You just don't get it, do you?
Shaun Nelson -- Bastard Operator From Hell
I like funky ceramic coffee mugs. I hated my job; I don't regret being fired. I'm not a big fan of continuity. I haven't been getting much sleep lately. I'm too lazy to do my own laundry. GODDAMN IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT! I have a mean streak.
I've learned that abuse serves a useful purpose. I need to change my sheets. The marshmallows are bugging me again. That's stoopid, not stupid, stupid. There's no such thing as a free lunch. I watched the movie 'Fargo' last night. I laughed, often inappropriately. Half a dog! The color gray suits me well. I can't cook, I live off sandwiches.
Adverbs are a commonly misused part of speech. I drink too much coffee. Ideally, tables should contain at least one flat surface. I never really did like Mark. I am guilty, albeit unintentionally, of contributing to the financial gains of evil multinational corporations. Pig Latin is
lame. A sick woodchuck upchucks wood. Paintings in coffeehouses are often drab. My finger hurts. Her caboose rides on a laugh track. I miss recess. Paul is dead. The ferret eats alone. Disregard the broken rules. It's like bad sex all over again (she's dead, all wrapped in plastic). Idon't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners. Half a Rob! I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids. That's not what I meant. Chunder was a-coming. Optical illusions are
never what they appear to be. I quit seeing this girl called turkey. Never mind the Alamo. I've never had a bad power trip. I didn't get the little dog either. She's not dyslexic. People shouldn't kill each other. Don't put another dime in the jukebox (it doesn't really box). For that matter, picket fences don't fence or picket. You can't just let her get away with this. Laugh all you want; we'll make more. Hell is a place where McDonald's serves real food. Orange is flashy. Target sucks. I know what's under my chair. Please sir, I'd like some morphine. You
never have an answer. I am the surry with the fringe on top. You are the furry with the syringe on top. Be a winner in the game of Life. Fox needs to be stopped. Follow my nose; it always knows. On second though, nothing tops a good beating. I brought the razorblades. And I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down. Michelangelo was gay. No, you don't look fat. Get away from me. There is no point in mentioning those bats. Free beer will solve your problems. Speaking of which, I
need a bigger freezer. You just don't get it, do you?
Shaun Nelson -- Bastard Operator From Hell
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